Kenneth Starr Virus:

Competely examines every aspect of your computer,
then compiles a complex report that discredits every
aspect of your computer.
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Ronald Reagan Virus:

Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

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Mike Tyson Virus:

Quits after two bytes.
Spits everything out.

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Oprah Winfrey Virus:

Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB,
then slowly expands to 200 MB.
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Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus:

Deletes all old files.

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Ellen Degeneres Virus:

Disks can no longer be inserted.

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Titanic Virus:

Your whole computer goes down.

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Disney Virus:

Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

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Prozac Virus:

Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

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Joey Buttafuoco Virus:

Only attacks minor files.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:

Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.

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Lorena Bobbit Virus:

Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy,
then discards it through Windows.

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Viagra Virus:

Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

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Clinton Virus:

Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory.